3rd Failed IUI

8:28 AM

We found out the sad news that our 3rd IUI was not successful on February 17th. It was such an incredibly sad, painful, disappointing moment knowing our last chance at IUI had failed. We had both felt really optimistic about what the result would be & even though we had tried not to get our hopes up it was impossible not to.

We both had to go in to work that day. I had a busy day of testing at one of my schools & the other specialists were coming in to help me. They all knew that I would have either good news or bad news & were so nice to come help me so that I would have an easier day. I was really thankful for that. It was hard to tell them all the sad news. Then they tested the large groups & I just tested a few Kindergartners. As I was reading the testing directions to them, I was trying hard not to cry & couldn't help some tears coming. I just told them I had allergies so they wouldn't know I was crying!

After a long, hard day, Nate & I headed to San Diego for the weekend. It was nice being in San Diego & being busy to take our minds of the sadness. It was also really nice to have a long drive to be able to talk to each other. I am so thankful to have Nate for a husband, he is always so sweet, always there for me, & I know that he would do do anything to make me happy. On Saturday we were together all day too. I helped Nate record backflow tests & then he took me on a late Valentine's date. It was really sweet, he took me to a really good restaurant, Lazy Dog, & then to a place he had researched & found that had ice cream sandwiches made with macarons, soooo good! On Monday, Nicole & I got to go to the beach & it was so nice! It had been cold & rainy the other days but that day the sun came out & it felt so nice. I also got to go wedding dress shopping with Christina & Nicole!

One hard thing that weekend was that on Sunday we had a big family dinner & Nate's cousins came over & announced to everyone that they were pregnant. That was really hard for us because we were wishing so badly that we had been announcing to everyone that we were pregnant that exact weekend.

Right now we are in the stage of waiting & saving up money for IVF. It has been a little nice to not have to worry about shots & getting work off for doctor's appointments, & planning everything around appointments, but it also feels sad knowing each month we have such a small chance of getting pregnant. I believe in miracles though & I know that one day we will have children. The hard thing is waiting & not knowing exactly how or when our children will come to us. We are planning on being able to do IVF either this summer or the beginning of the school year, depending on the timing & costs of everything. I get really stressed out thinking about all of the shots & blood draws (many, many, many more than IUI). I was so scared to do IUI though & somehow I got through it with the help of my Heavenly Father, Nate, & my sweet sisters who helped give me some of the shots & even gave me numbing cream so I couldn't feel the shots as much. I have also been stressed about missing tons of work during the IVF process but I had an end of the year meeting with my boss & she was so nice & let me know that things can be worked out with work to accommodate my schedule if needed. That relieved a lot of stress from me. I'm thankful that Nate & I have been blessed to be able to save up a lot of money for IVF & know that Heavenly Father is watching out for us. It has been a little over 2 1/2 years since we have been struggling with infertility & even though it has been a very long few years, I know that we have learned a lot, grown closer to our Heavenly Father, & grown closer as a couple. I know that we will be better parents from this experience.


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