San Diego Trip

For Labor Day weekend, Nate, Matt, Brittany & I went to San Diego. It was such a fun trip & hard to come back to work after the best weekend! We drove up on Friday & got in late at night.

On Saturday, we met Ally at the beach! It was perfect weather all day & just the best beach day! First, we went to D street in Encinitas. I got to surf with Ally which was so fun & we caught some really fun little waves. Then Britt & I tried to body surf & right before we went in we both got all tossed around & totally sandy in a wave! We relaxed on the beach awhile & then headed to Con Pane for lunch. After lunch we went to Sunset Cliffs & surfed awhile & then went to Ocean Beach until the sun was setting. It was so perfect at Ocean Beach, it was golden hour (my favorite time of day) & we were all just swimming in the water & were the only ones in our area. It was just the best! Then we went to Nate's parents to shower and get dressed & then met Ryan & Christina at the drive in movie. We had Phil's BBQ & watched the new Spiderman & Wonderwoman. It was SUCH a great day!!!

On Sunday we went to church with Nate's parents & as we were leaving Sacrament Matt realized his wedding ring was not on his finger. He was sure it had dropped somewhere so we all started looking for it. After awhile the bishopric started looking too along with several other people. Someone got the young women & young men & they helped look too. People were using spoons to look in the seat cracks & someone was even using a back scratcher too look (who brings one of those to church?). Finally, after about 30 minutes we were about to leave & Nate's dad saw that Matt was kicking the ring with his shoe, hahaha!! As we were leaving one of the bishopric members came out of the primary room & said he had told the kids if any of them took a ring to turn it in. It was just so funny that the whole ward was helping!!!

After church we met Ally & Zach on Coronado Island. We got lunch with them & then walked around to a park & around the Del. Then we got the best gelato & then all went to Nate's parents for a BBQ!

On Monday we grabbed some breakfast burritos at Taco Surf (sooo good!!!) & had breakfast on the beach at Ocean Beach. We hung out with Ally until she had to go & then we all swam & body surfed for a few hours. It was overcast but it still felt nice! We stayed as long as Nate & Matt would let us & then got Con Pane for lunch & headed back home.

I'm so thankful for such a relaxing, fun, perfect weekend with family!!!


Brittany & I went to Snowflake for a 3 day weekend to visit our Grandma & Grandpa Flake. On the way up we stopped & had dinner at a really good little pizza place. Then we tried to get back on the road & ended up driving this crazy back way for like 10 minutes!

Once we got to Snowflake we had a great time with Grandma & Grandpa. It was so nice to be able to spend time with them, help my Grandma with some things around the house, & just being able to visit & have a relaxing weekend! It was the best to be able to wake up to have hot chocolate by the fire with warm homemade bread & crab apple jelly. When we drove home it was snowing & Britt did great driving through the snowstorm!

3rd Failed IUI

We found out the sad news that our 3rd IUI was not successful on February 17th. It was such an incredibly sad, painful, disappointing moment knowing our last chance at IUI had failed. We had both felt really optimistic about what the result would be & even though we had tried not to get our hopes up it was impossible not to.

We both had to go in to work that day. I had a busy day of testing at one of my schools & the other specialists were coming in to help me. They all knew that I would have either good news or bad news & were so nice to come help me so that I would have an easier day. I was really thankful for that. It was hard to tell them all the sad news. Then they tested the large groups & I just tested a few Kindergartners. As I was reading the testing directions to them, I was trying hard not to cry & couldn't help some tears coming. I just told them I had allergies so they wouldn't know I was crying!

After a long, hard day, Nate & I headed to San Diego for the weekend. It was nice being in San Diego & being busy to take our minds of the sadness. It was also really nice to have a long drive to be able to talk to each other. I am so thankful to have Nate for a husband, he is always so sweet, always there for me, & I know that he would do do anything to make me happy. On Saturday we were together all day too. I helped Nate record backflow tests & then he took me on a late Valentine's date. It was really sweet, he took me to a really good restaurant, Lazy Dog, & then to a place he had researched & found that had ice cream sandwiches made with macarons, soooo good! On Monday, Nicole & I got to go to the beach & it was so nice! It had been cold & rainy the other days but that day the sun came out & it felt so nice. I also got to go wedding dress shopping with Christina & Nicole!

One hard thing that weekend was that on Sunday we had a big family dinner & Nate's cousins came over & announced to everyone that they were pregnant. That was really hard for us because we were wishing so badly that we had been announcing to everyone that we were pregnant that exact weekend.

Right now we are in the stage of waiting & saving up money for IVF. It has been a little nice to not have to worry about shots & getting work off for doctor's appointments, & planning everything around appointments, but it also feels sad knowing each month we have such a small chance of getting pregnant. I believe in miracles though & I know that one day we will have children. The hard thing is waiting & not knowing exactly how or when our children will come to us. We are planning on being able to do IVF either this summer or the beginning of the school year, depending on the timing & costs of everything. I get really stressed out thinking about all of the shots & blood draws (many, many, many more than IUI). I was so scared to do IUI though & somehow I got through it with the help of my Heavenly Father, Nate, & my sweet sisters who helped give me some of the shots & even gave me numbing cream so I couldn't feel the shots as much. I have also been stressed about missing tons of work during the IVF process but I had an end of the year meeting with my boss & she was so nice & let me know that things can be worked out with work to accommodate my schedule if needed. That relieved a lot of stress from me. I'm thankful that Nate & I have been blessed to be able to save up a lot of money for IVF & know that Heavenly Father is watching out for us. It has been a little over 2 1/2 years since we have been struggling with infertility & even though it has been a very long few years, I know that we have learned a lot, grown closer to our Heavenly Father, & grown closer as a couple. I know that we will be better parents from this experience.

Valentine's Day!

Today is Valentine's Day! Nate surprised me with the prettiest red tulips & my favorite chocolates from Trader Joe's-dark chocolate peanut butter salted caramel truffles!! The best!!!! He also let me get a really cute shirt & this box that should come in the mail any day that is supposed to have lots of makeup products & other fun products too! I have been wanting to order one for so long! I got Nate all of his favorite treats- Dr. Pepper, Salt & Vinegar chips, Heath Bar, chocolate millionaire truffles, & chipotle beef jerky. We are going to go on a Valentine's date when we are in San Diego this weekend. Nate is surprising me with where we are going & I'm so excited!

Over the past few years, I feel like Nate & I have really grown closer together. I felt like we were already close, but we have really just grown extra close & really rely on each other so much. I'm so thankful to have him for my Valentine. I remember being single in Hawaii & wondering what it would be like to be married on Valentine's Day. It is the best not just on Valentine's Day but every day! We have had such amazing, happy times & also the hardest, most sad times these past few years but I wouldn't give our past few years up for anything!

Some things I love about Nate:
1. He is very sweet & always thinking of nice things to do for me.
2. He makes me laugh all the time.
3. He makes dinner for me once a week & it is always so good!
4. He works so hard.
5. He drives me everywhere & never gets lost.
6. He makes everything more fun.
7. I love going on dates with him.
8. He helps me see the good in things.
9. He is always complimenting me & says something nice each morning as I'm getting ready for work.
10. He is so forgiving & kind.

A Lesson in Faith

Well, we found out that our 2nd IUI was not successful. It was another hard day/weekend/week, but we were grateful we had the weekend to spend together before going back to work. We have faith that when the time is right, we will be able to grow our family.

My last ultrasound went well, there were no cysts!!! Such a relief! So we have been able to start a 3rd round of IUI. If this round does not work, we will be saving up for a while for IVF, which costs around $16,000-$20,000. Some other good news/ a tender mercy, I had asked the nurse on the phone if there were any sample boxes of FSH shots I could use before going into my appointment. She said she would check & save one for me if there was. After the ultrasound, I asked the nurse & she said there were no sample boxes but that someone had donated a box of shots, the exact kind I needed. I never would have thought I would have been excited about getting shots, haha! I know that this, along with many other things, was an answer to a prayer.

I have been so stressed about the costs of everything & also wondering if this will ever even work for us. It is so stressful to think that we could spend over $25,000 on treatments & still never get pregnant. But I know that Heavenly Father is watching over Nate & I. I know that when the time is right, we will be able to have children. On the drive to the appointment, I felt worried & stressed but on the drive back I felt comfort & peace knowing that my Heavenly Father is watching over me.

Melissa gave birth to a healthy baby boy a few days ago! I am so happy for her!! She struggled with infertility for several years before getting pregnant through IUI & having Jenna & then struggled for another 5 years before getting pregnant with her little boy. She has given me comfort & hope many times when I have felt discouraged. Because of my dr's appointment on Thursday & then our IUI which will hopefully be scheduled on Monday or Tuesday, I will be driving up to see Melis & baby Andy on Friday afternoon & then heading back Sunday afternoon. It will be a very short trip but I'm happy I'll be able to go!!

Here's hoping & praying that this 3rd IUI will work & that we will have a miracle!!

Lemon Tree

Two years ago we bought 3 citrus trees, one of which was a lemon tree. Our tree quickly grew lemons, but they stayed tiny & green & it took over a year & a half for them to ripen enough to pluck from the tree. I have debated what to make with these lemons, feeling like it needed to be something wonderful & unique since we had waited for them for so long. I decided on making lemon vanilla bean scones & I have to admit, they were the best scones I've ever had & I ate about 3 of them!!

Anyways, I was thinking about our struggle with infertility & not being able to have children yet. It has been about 2 1/2 years since we have struggled with this trial. It has felt like such a long time. It has been a wonderful 2 1/2 years but also very hard at times. We have done our best to have hope & faith. I feel like we are both in a good place right now, trusting in the Lord & His timing for us. I know that it could be many more years before we are able to have children, but I have faith that whenever it is, it will be the right time for us.

Tomorrow we find out if our 2nd IUI worked. Last time, I was so nervous the 2 weeks before & I didn't sleep the entire night before. Every day I thought about if I had any pregnancy symptoms, thought of baby names, how I would decorate a nursery, etc. When we got the disappointing news at 4am that it was not successful, it was such a long, hard day.

This time around, I have kept really busy & I also know that Heavenly Father has helped me to feel peace & comfort. It has been a much better experience. I know that the results may be negative tomorrow but even if they are, I will continue to have faith & hope & trust in the Lord's timing. This has been the hardest trial I have ever gone through, but I know that it has made me stronger, brought Nate & I closer together, & will make us better parents.

Just like with our little lemon tree, we are having to wait a lot longer than we expected & longer than the average famlily. But I know that when we are able to have children, it will all be worth it & this waiting period we are going through now will seems like it was such a short time. I know that I will look back on this time of waiting & be thankful for it because it helped me to be a better wife & mother.

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