Lemon Tree

8:35 AM

Two years ago we bought 3 citrus trees, one of which was a lemon tree. Our tree quickly grew lemons, but they stayed tiny & green & it took over a year & a half for them to ripen enough to pluck from the tree. I have debated what to make with these lemons, feeling like it needed to be something wonderful & unique since we had waited for them for so long. I decided on making lemon vanilla bean scones & I have to admit, they were the best scones I've ever had & I ate about 3 of them!!

Anyways, I was thinking about our struggle with infertility & not being able to have children yet. It has been about 2 1/2 years since we have struggled with this trial. It has felt like such a long time. It has been a wonderful 2 1/2 years but also very hard at times. We have done our best to have hope & faith. I feel like we are both in a good place right now, trusting in the Lord & His timing for us. I know that it could be many more years before we are able to have children, but I have faith that whenever it is, it will be the right time for us.

Tomorrow we find out if our 2nd IUI worked. Last time, I was so nervous the 2 weeks before & I didn't sleep the entire night before. Every day I thought about if I had any pregnancy symptoms, thought of baby names, how I would decorate a nursery, etc. When we got the disappointing news at 4am that it was not successful, it was such a long, hard day.

This time around, I have kept really busy & I also know that Heavenly Father has helped me to feel peace & comfort. It has been a much better experience. I know that the results may be negative tomorrow but even if they are, I will continue to have faith & hope & trust in the Lord's timing. This has been the hardest trial I have ever gone through, but I know that it has made me stronger, brought Nate & I closer together, & will make us better parents.

Just like with our little lemon tree, we are having to wait a lot longer than we expected & longer than the average famlily. But I know that when we are able to have children, it will all be worth it & this waiting period we are going through now will seems like it was such a short time. I know that I will look back on this time of waiting & be thankful for it because it helped me to be a better wife & mother.

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